just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize