I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
