let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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