I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
