shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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