from now on my penis is your penis
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
