time to smoke my breakfast
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize