batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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