College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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