i think i have herpe
just one?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize