just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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