i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
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Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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