R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
