I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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