So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
