I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
