he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
