I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
