Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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