I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
