You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
