Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
