I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
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Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"