Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
