so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize