I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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