Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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