I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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