I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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