there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
