he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
