based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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