I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
