I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
