I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
