I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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