I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
