Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
