Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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