your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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