OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
