he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
PANTIES FOUND
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