was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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