Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
