I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
