I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
