He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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