dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
