I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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