wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
