just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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