I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
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We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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