i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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