all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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