Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize