Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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