you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
