We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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