I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
