my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night